it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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