I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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