im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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