You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
