Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
