No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Don't make out with my wife yet
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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