Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
