I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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