If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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