she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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