She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
