You're so nebulous sometimes
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
