I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
