it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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