and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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