I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
