I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
