I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
