I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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