I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
