Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
God, I missed his penis.
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