I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How does it feel to date your dad?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
