even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
