can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
