Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
