Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
