guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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