Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize