GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize