they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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