The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
