I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
