That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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