so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize