I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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