If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
