yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize