I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Floor bacon is actually really good
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
