Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
