evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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