Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
