we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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