I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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