Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
