Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
