I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
