She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
