How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
