I puked a lego.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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