Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
