I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
