It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
