you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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