if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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