Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
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