i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i wish my penis had a tongue
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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