I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
