5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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