I think my vagina is haunted
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize