oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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