I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
