it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
